Big Game Hunter: I Kill Giraffes 'Cuz They're "Very Dangerous Animals That Can Hurt You Seriously"

One incredibly nauseating theme that seems to be infecting conservative pages on Facebook are soulless, rich poachers posting pics of their slaughtered big game kills.

So, in the wake of all the backlash and just damage caused to the American dentist Walter Palmer, one would think these vile big game killing cowards would have enough brain cells to maybe lay off posting their gruesome big game kills on social media for at least a couple of weeks. Guess again.

Sabrina Corgatelli, a conservative accountant for Idaho State University, uploaded images from her legal hunt in South Africa. Apparently Sabrina has been living under a rock without WiFi since she said she was ”unaware” of all the social outcry for her “hobby.” Um, hobby??! Call me crazy, but I tend to associate hobbies with building model cars and putting ships into bottles–not so much rich, white a-holes carefully orchestrating and pathetically arranging the killing of a majestic animal that does not need to be killed or eaten anyway. Moreover, all so they can go back to the golf course and brag to all their other d*ckless and rich big game killers.

But Corgatelli is a special kind of animal murderer, and really took the cake when she said that she was doing a public service by killing a giraffe. Her reasoning why is not even moronic BS that Donald Trump and the entire Fox News family could imagine.  So you know how Giraffes are famous for being adorable herbivores, which mostly congregate in national parks and give small children kisses? Well, apparently they are very vicious beasts that will kill you and your family, according to Corgatelli.

“Giraffes are very dangerous animals” and “they could hurt you seriously very quickly.”

How brave of Corgatelli to protect us zoo going Americans from getting mauled to death by one of those plant-eating killer machines. I also hear the guinea pigs are plotting to take over the rest of the zoo. In short, sick sociopaths like Corgatelli don’t know what the word hobby means and continue to make lame excuses for their unnecessary kills. Hopefully the potential legal ramifications facing Cecil the Lions killer will lead to a drop in these malicious big game kills, or at least the morbid posting of them on Facebook.

Featured image courtesy of Salon and photo by NBC News

unnamed Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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